hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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