giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize