I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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