There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
