i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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