we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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