What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
