Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
