Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
