By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
