We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
