oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
