You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
