McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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