Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
