i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
