Dual....:-)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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