i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Cover your peen. We're going out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
