cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
