am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
