my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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