So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
