So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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