kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
