At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
