I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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