Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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