I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
