i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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