Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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