You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
