wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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