You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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