if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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