I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
