he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
