i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
