so that wasnt chicken after all
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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