i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
