Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
