the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize