YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
