Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We are two peas in an std pod
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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