My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
