No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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