The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What a dumb baby whore.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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