I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
