its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
