yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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