make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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