New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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