Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
