mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
