fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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