There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
