I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize