1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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